Retard in the ranks

A motorist has been fined by a retarded parking attendant for having a valid parking ticket in his car. In fact, it was several motorists. And they all had valid parking tickets.

Anyone want to know why they were being given fines? Maybe they had valid tickets, but were otherwise parked illegally? Maybe parking regulations just got stupidly tough?


They were fined because the attendant giving out the tickets couldn’t tell the time.

He used a calculator to work out the expiry time of Dave Alsop’s ticket, without realising the device worked in decimals and not minutes and hours.

Mr Alsop, 29, parked near Torquay harbour, Devon, at 2.49pm and paid £1.20 for 75 minutes, covering him until 4.04pm.

But when he returned at 3.41pm, he discovered a £50 fine on his car. He found the warden and showed him the parking ticket, which clearly had time left on it.

The warden disagreed and tried to prove his point with a calculator.

He tapped in 14.49 and added 0.75 to produce a total of 15.24, claiming this meant Mr Alsop’s ticket had expired at 3.24pm, some 17 minutes before he returned to his car.

Mr Alsop, of Torquay, said: ‘I tried to explain but he didn’t have a clue. He just carried on doing other cars parked there.’

And the education system isn’t in shambles, eh Gordo? When officals responsible for enforcing a parking system can’t tell what the fucking time is and don’t know how to use a simple device like a pocket calculator.

Happily for Mr Alsop, Torbay council waived the fee and apologised. It said: ‘The civil enforcement officer is new.

No, the civil enforcement officer is retarded.

‘We have provided additional training to prevent this happening again.’

Perhaps you should have saved the local authority the expense of teaching this cretin to correctly tell the time and use a calculator by making sure he could do those things before you hired him?

Then again, perhaps one would automatically assume that the world-class education system we have in this country would have deposited him into society fully equipped with such skills.

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