Category Archives: Funny

You broke my heart…

Puns

You have to love a good pun, and in this country we certainly seem to have cornered the market for the good ones! Enjoy this “best of” selection!

Definitions

Political Correctness (noun) – A doctrine fostered by a delusional, illogical minority, and rapidly promoted by a mainstream media, which holds forth the proposition that it is entirely possible to pick up a piece of shit by the clean end.

Imperial Ambition

Due to Empire-wide budget cuts, Lord Vader has had to scale back his ambitions for the Death Star project… Tiny Death Star, the latest little gem from Lucas Arts is available free of charge (though there are in-app purchases) on Apple iOS and Android devices now.

Manchester United to renew pact with Satan

THE Red Devils are to renew their longstanding deal with Satan in a ceremony before their home game this Sunday. The club, who first began worshipping Satan in the 1930s because they couldn’t afford new kit, owe their astonishing success over the last 25 years to a pact brokered by Sir Alex Ferguson. New manager […]

Horses’ arses

Anyone ever really stopped and wondered about railroad tracks? They’re very interesting things. The standard railroad gauge (the distance between the two tracks) in the USA is 4 feet, 8.5 inches. A somewhat arbitrary number, if you stop and think about it. Why was that number used? The answer is simple: because that’s the way […]

Thought for the week

Quote of the day

This, on the subject of the anti-fracking protesters, comes from the pen of Sir Bernard Ingham, the Press Secretary for Margaret Thatcher during her time in government: It seems they want us all to live in their yurts, tepees and wigwams in a sort of glorious, save-the-planet pre-industrial squalor – regardless of our manifest objections. […]

The Guardian and MI5

As news reports begin to circulate indicating that David Miranda was detained under anti-terror legislation to prevent him leaking potentially illegally obtained information about GCHQ, its time to get MI5 on the phone to discuss the negative political impact the story is having…

Good riddance, says Voyager 1

VOYAGER 1 has expressed relief at being rid of the human race, as it leaves our solar system. The widely-travelled NASA probe was launched 36 years ago to examine outer planets but soon became embarrassed about its origins. Voyager 1 said: “No offence, but Earth is like the Swindon of the universe. It’s a mathematical […]