Category Archives: Sport

Manchester United to renew pact with Satan

THE Red Devils are to renew their longstanding deal with Satan in a ceremony before their home game this Sunday. The club, who first began worshipping Satan in the 1930s because they couldn’t afford new kit, owe their astonishing success over the last 25 years to a pact brokered by Sir Alex Ferguson. New manager […]

The olympics so far

The olympics hasn’t officially started yet. So let’s have a look at how things are going for them so far: When “Red” Ken Livingstone (who can’t keep his sausage in his pants, it seems…) initially bid for the olympics, he understated the cost in order to secure central government money for his East End regeneration […]


I mean Dartswatch…

The olympics and junk food sponsorships

The health stasi. The olympics – I refuse to give it a capital letter. Two of the things I find myself hating most of all at the moment. I’m tired of all the olympics prep work we’ve been doing at work – we’ve had years to prepare, and it seems that all government departments are […]


So Wimbledon has started. Well, as long as anyone but Andy Murray wins I shall be happy. My thanks to Wonko for the graphic – I’m far too lazy to make my own.


The last week of April and the first two weeks of May are traditionally reserved for the world championships of the snooker. This year it hasn’t been without its share of controversy: Mark Allen accused all the Chinese players of being cheats after he was defeated in the opening rounds, Ding Junhui said the condition […]


And the Sweaty Socks go down and out. No finer place for them.

Andy Gray

I’m sure no one can have missed the media storm that has erupted over the comments made by Sky Sports presenter Andy Gray, which has resulted in him being sacked following “sexist” comments made about Karren Brady and Sian Massey. Understandably, this has drawn attention from a lot of people, including me; and there is […]

The Ashes

England have retained The Ashes in dramatic style, with a total demolition of Australia in the fourth test at Melbourne, giving them a 2-1 lead over Australia in the series, with one test drawn. The fifth and final test is a formality: I would naturally expect England to win given their recent form, but even […]

John Virgo

Shut the fuck up. Just shut your fucking useless gob. Its bad enough there is a snooker final under the shadow of a match-fixing scandal without the glorious figure of Michaela Tabb, but to have you on the telly talking your massive load of shite… Please, for once in your useless life and career, shut […]